Summertime for most people means barbecues, swimming pools and sunshine. For me, it means white wine season! I usually enjoy the complexity and richness of red wine, but for a blisteringly hot Los Angeles summer, nothing's better than a cool glass of white wine. My white wine of choice? Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc.
My love affair with Marlborough SVB's began in 2007 in Florida. I was working at a fantastic theatre down there (Florida Stage - lovely place) and living half a mile from the beach. It was an idyllic three months spent walking through the surf in the morning, performing in the evening, and capping off my days with some homemade ice cream at the parlor next to the theatre. Occasionally, I'd walk over to the Ritz Carlton across the street, sit in the lobby bar and enjoy a glass of wine. On the menu was a Whitehaven Sauvignon Blanc, to this day my favorite of all the Marlboroughs. Crisp, clean, dry and tart, sipping on this wine in the beautiful Ritz Carlton felt so luxurious.
There are many wonderful options for Marlborough SVB you can find in your regular grocery store wine aisle. One of the most popular is Nobilo, which earns between 88-92 points (out of 100) from Wine Spectator Magazine. The Nobilo Icon is particularly delicious and easy to find, though I haven't had the latest vintage (being pregnant put a cramp in my drinking style, obviously).
Many wineries are jumping on the Marlborough train, producing sauvignon blanc in a very similar style. The Chilean sauvignon blancs are absolutely delicious and share many of the same characteristics as the Marlboroughs. My favorite is Santa Maria (easy to locate at the grocery store). California wine producers are also making Marlborough-style wines (we love the sauvignon blanc from Rosenthal, though it is more difficult to find). California sauvignon blancs are also sometimes referred to as fume blanc, which has a more rounded taste to it but still quite good. The first bottle of wine my husband and I shared was a fantastic bottle of Ferrari-Carano Fume Blanc.
Unfortunately, the quality of Marlborough sauvignon blancs has declined slightly in the last couple years, much like what happened with California pinot noirs. When the popularity of a particularly grape is on the rise, it tends to be overproduced, and therefore loses some of the original quality and intention. The taste also varies depending on the environmental conditions in which the grapes were grown. Some years fare better than others. Experiment with different vintages and see what year has characteristics that appeal to you.
White wine should be chilled, and while some people have a separate wine refrigerator to keep their white wine at the recommended 48-52 degrees (slightly warmer than the typical refrigerator temperature) most of us don't have that option. Some critics believe Americans serve their white wine too cold and red wine too warm. I say drink your wine at the temperature that appeals to you! If you want to be "correct", take the bottle of white out of your refrigerator half an hour before you intend to drink it. And please, please do not put ice in your white wine. Watering down the wine will affect the smell and taste. However, if you really love to have ice cubes in your chardonnay, don't let prissy wine snobs stop you! Drinking wine should be a pleasurable, sumptuous experience. Enjoy it your way!
For information on how to safely indulge in the occasional glass of wine while breastfeeding, go to this website: http://www.kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/alcohol.html. Be smart and sensible. I prefer to have just a quarter of a glass with a full meal a few times a week right after nursing, giving the alcohol time to be processed and eliminated from my body before the next feeding. As our pediatrician said "you deserve a little drink at the end of the day"... as long as you're smart about it! And of course, if you feel uncomfortable drinking even small amounts while pregnant or nursing, by all means don't!
Well, there is a bottle of Rosenthal Sauvignon Blanc with my name on it chilling in our fridge. Happy drinking!
8.09.2011
7.31.2011
Deliverance
"Sukhanusayi Ragah" .... "Excessive attachment is based on the assumption that it will contribute to everlasting happiness." - Sutra 2.7
I spent the nine months of my pregnancy reading books about natural childbirth, practicing breathing techniques and mastering different positions to ease labor pains. And while I told myself I had no "plan" and would just "go with the flow," deep down I had decided that I would have the perfect unmedicated labor and delivery. Those complications that other people experience? Not going to be an issue for me! Well, as usual, I was taught a very valuable lesson about attachment.
My labor started on a Tuesday, exactly 6 days before I actually gave birth to my daughter. Every evening, like clockwork, I would start having excruciating contractions that lasted between 2 and 5 minutes, about one or two every hour. And while the intensity of the contractions was severe, the labor never progressed. During the day, I would have very light contractions or none at all. The first two days I assumed I was in early labor, and started practicing all the techniques I had learned... warm baths, pranayama, stretching, foot massages from my husband. We called our parents, assuming things were going to progress soon. Wrong! Thursday evening, we did everything we could think of to get labor started. Long walks, eating pineapple and spicy food, walking up stairs, the salad from the local pizzeria rumored to induce labor. Nothing changed, and our frustration grew. I was now into my third sleepless night of intense pain, with nothing to show for it. This continued through Sunday, when after two trips to the hospital to get checked and consult with my midwives, my husband and I decided we had had enough. This baby needed to come out soon, as 6 sleepless days and nights were taking its' toll on us. We knew if we didn't induce, there was no way I would have the energy to push and we'd end up in the OR for a c-section. We consulted with our amazing midwife, and I asked her to induce me. We agreed that because I had been unable to sleep for almost a week, I should receive pitocin and an epidural (the epidural more so I could rest than for the pain). Honestly, that was the best decision we made. Even with the pitocin, it took over 12 hours for me to dilate from 4cm to 10cm. Along the way, I had the most compassionate care in my nurse Karen and midwife Shadman. They were so encouraging, so sweet and so understanding. I felt no judgment, and completely supported in my decision. After a restful evening (no sleep, but at least relaxation), at 7:00 a.m. I was still only 8cm dilated. The shift changed, and my sweet nurse and midwife were replaced with a much tougher team.
My new nurse Donna came in and saw my progress and decided to up my pitocin by 2 every half hour instead of 1 every hour. While this made me much more uncomfortable (even with the epidural I could feel each contraction), I was happy to finally be progressing. She and my midwife Susan were much more aggressive, and by 9:00am I was ready to push. Because of the epidural, however, I couldn't feel what my body needed to do. After consulting with Susan, it was decided my epidural would be turned off. Within minutes, sensation returned to my legs. After another hour, Susan came back and we started the real work of getting this baby out. I won't detail what followed, as there is nothing pretty about the birthing process, but suffice it to say, it was the most intense experience of my life (quick sidenote to apologize to my amazing husband, who I'm afraid I wasn't always kind to... nurse Donna passed him a note during the pushing stage that said "women are usually fussy at this point - don't take it personally". Bless her!). An hour and forty-five minutes later, the NICU team was summoned as Juna approached the outside world (when my water broke, there was meconium present). Again, thank goodness things worked out that way, because when Juna came out, the cord was wrapped twice tightly around her neck. A quick cut and she was whisked away by the NICU team to be suctioned, stimulated, poked and prodded. Two weak cries were all I heard, and I saw nothing. Dashed again were our intentions of having her placed directly on my chest for skin to skin bonding, breastfeeding and my husband cutting the cord. At this point, all our original ideas had to be shelved as we prayed and hoped for a healthy baby.
Ten minutes later, Juna was given to me for all of 60 seconds. My savior, Nurse Donna, thought to take a picture, which I will treasure forever, as Juna was then whisked away again for a stay in the NICU. Two hours later, I insisted on walking to the NICU to finally spend some time getting to know my little girl. She had oxygen tubes in her nose, and monitors on her chest, with pinpricks on each tiny hand where they tried to find a vein to give her fluids. We were only able to look at her before I was taken back to recovery. My husband stayed to watch over her, and called awhile later to say we were going to get to hold her. I asked if we could try breastfeeding and was told that I could, but if I gave her a bottle instead they would discharge her and let her room in with us. Not exactly the start I was hoping for in our nursing relationship, but we agreed as we so badly wanted her off the monitors and in our arms. At seven o'clock that evening, Juna arrived in our room, pink and healthy.
It was a long process that required compromise, understanding and detachment on all sides, and though this was not the birth experience I envisioned, at the end, we walked away with a healthy baby and a healthy mama. There were moments that I felt extremely sad that I had not been able to provide her with a completely smooth transition into the world, and that is when it became imperative to call upon my yogic reserves and remember that attachment to what has transpired in the past is not productive. As the sutra says, excessive attachment to one idea presumes that there is only one way to achieve happiness, but when you enter into a situation with an open mind and heart, and follow the course of action that is necessary in the present moment, naturally the situation will resolve itself and you may learn a thing or two on the way!
As Pema Chodron says "To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again." To me, this means becoming unattached to outcomes, and be fully invested in the process. My illusions of having the perfect transition into parenthood are gone, and as I relinquish more control this lesson is reaffirmed. We learned it again bringing baby home to meet dog... after watching "The Dog Whisperer" and reading up on the subject, we had a plan on how to introduce the two. Unfortunately, as soon as we walked in the house, Juna had a complete meltdown and we forgot the dog even existed. So much for our peaceful first meeting! I had also assumed that we would have a calm, relaxed, mellow baby... we spent nine hours yesterday trying to calm our colicky infant. Letting go of attachment is easier said than done, but as soon as I accept what is really happening, I see with clarity and can better care for my daughter.
The name Juna was inspired by the character of Arjuna, the spiritual warrior in the Bhagavad Gita. I come back to this text often to remind myself not to cling too tightly to material things, to desires, or to ideas. These are lessons I hope to pass on to my daughter. The Bhagavad Gita tells us that "the person whose mind is always free from attachment, who has subdued the mind and senses, and who is free from desires, attains the supreme perfection of freedom from Karma through renunciation." I am now going through the process of freeing myself from needing to be the "perfect" parent, instead focusing on the child in front of me. I am trying to see her clearly for what she is (fussy, unpredictable, adorable, fascinating...) and not what I assumed she would be. Doing this now will ensure that later on in her life, when she inevitably makes a decision I don't agree with, I will be able to accept and love her for who she is and not who I wanted her to be. Loving unconditionally leaves no room for attachment, and it seems to me that the "perfect" parent sometimes makes mistakes or disappoints, but always chooses to love completely and without judgment.
We are so blessed to have Juna Meredith Anderson as our child. On the day of her birth, July 18, she weighed seven pounds, three ounces and was nineteen and a half inches long. She is a joy in every moment and we couldn't be happier!
I spent the nine months of my pregnancy reading books about natural childbirth, practicing breathing techniques and mastering different positions to ease labor pains. And while I told myself I had no "plan" and would just "go with the flow," deep down I had decided that I would have the perfect unmedicated labor and delivery. Those complications that other people experience? Not going to be an issue for me! Well, as usual, I was taught a very valuable lesson about attachment.
My labor started on a Tuesday, exactly 6 days before I actually gave birth to my daughter. Every evening, like clockwork, I would start having excruciating contractions that lasted between 2 and 5 minutes, about one or two every hour. And while the intensity of the contractions was severe, the labor never progressed. During the day, I would have very light contractions or none at all. The first two days I assumed I was in early labor, and started practicing all the techniques I had learned... warm baths, pranayama, stretching, foot massages from my husband. We called our parents, assuming things were going to progress soon. Wrong! Thursday evening, we did everything we could think of to get labor started. Long walks, eating pineapple and spicy food, walking up stairs, the salad from the local pizzeria rumored to induce labor. Nothing changed, and our frustration grew. I was now into my third sleepless night of intense pain, with nothing to show for it. This continued through Sunday, when after two trips to the hospital to get checked and consult with my midwives, my husband and I decided we had had enough. This baby needed to come out soon, as 6 sleepless days and nights were taking its' toll on us. We knew if we didn't induce, there was no way I would have the energy to push and we'd end up in the OR for a c-section. We consulted with our amazing midwife, and I asked her to induce me. We agreed that because I had been unable to sleep for almost a week, I should receive pitocin and an epidural (the epidural more so I could rest than for the pain). Honestly, that was the best decision we made. Even with the pitocin, it took over 12 hours for me to dilate from 4cm to 10cm. Along the way, I had the most compassionate care in my nurse Karen and midwife Shadman. They were so encouraging, so sweet and so understanding. I felt no judgment, and completely supported in my decision. After a restful evening (no sleep, but at least relaxation), at 7:00 a.m. I was still only 8cm dilated. The shift changed, and my sweet nurse and midwife were replaced with a much tougher team.
My new nurse Donna came in and saw my progress and decided to up my pitocin by 2 every half hour instead of 1 every hour. While this made me much more uncomfortable (even with the epidural I could feel each contraction), I was happy to finally be progressing. She and my midwife Susan were much more aggressive, and by 9:00am I was ready to push. Because of the epidural, however, I couldn't feel what my body needed to do. After consulting with Susan, it was decided my epidural would be turned off. Within minutes, sensation returned to my legs. After another hour, Susan came back and we started the real work of getting this baby out. I won't detail what followed, as there is nothing pretty about the birthing process, but suffice it to say, it was the most intense experience of my life (quick sidenote to apologize to my amazing husband, who I'm afraid I wasn't always kind to... nurse Donna passed him a note during the pushing stage that said "women are usually fussy at this point - don't take it personally". Bless her!). An hour and forty-five minutes later, the NICU team was summoned as Juna approached the outside world (when my water broke, there was meconium present). Again, thank goodness things worked out that way, because when Juna came out, the cord was wrapped twice tightly around her neck. A quick cut and she was whisked away by the NICU team to be suctioned, stimulated, poked and prodded. Two weak cries were all I heard, and I saw nothing. Dashed again were our intentions of having her placed directly on my chest for skin to skin bonding, breastfeeding and my husband cutting the cord. At this point, all our original ideas had to be shelved as we prayed and hoped for a healthy baby.
Ten minutes later, Juna was given to me for all of 60 seconds. My savior, Nurse Donna, thought to take a picture, which I will treasure forever, as Juna was then whisked away again for a stay in the NICU. Two hours later, I insisted on walking to the NICU to finally spend some time getting to know my little girl. She had oxygen tubes in her nose, and monitors on her chest, with pinpricks on each tiny hand where they tried to find a vein to give her fluids. We were only able to look at her before I was taken back to recovery. My husband stayed to watch over her, and called awhile later to say we were going to get to hold her. I asked if we could try breastfeeding and was told that I could, but if I gave her a bottle instead they would discharge her and let her room in with us. Not exactly the start I was hoping for in our nursing relationship, but we agreed as we so badly wanted her off the monitors and in our arms. At seven o'clock that evening, Juna arrived in our room, pink and healthy.
It was a long process that required compromise, understanding and detachment on all sides, and though this was not the birth experience I envisioned, at the end, we walked away with a healthy baby and a healthy mama. There were moments that I felt extremely sad that I had not been able to provide her with a completely smooth transition into the world, and that is when it became imperative to call upon my yogic reserves and remember that attachment to what has transpired in the past is not productive. As the sutra says, excessive attachment to one idea presumes that there is only one way to achieve happiness, but when you enter into a situation with an open mind and heart, and follow the course of action that is necessary in the present moment, naturally the situation will resolve itself and you may learn a thing or two on the way!
As Pema Chodron says "To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again." To me, this means becoming unattached to outcomes, and be fully invested in the process. My illusions of having the perfect transition into parenthood are gone, and as I relinquish more control this lesson is reaffirmed. We learned it again bringing baby home to meet dog... after watching "The Dog Whisperer" and reading up on the subject, we had a plan on how to introduce the two. Unfortunately, as soon as we walked in the house, Juna had a complete meltdown and we forgot the dog even existed. So much for our peaceful first meeting! I had also assumed that we would have a calm, relaxed, mellow baby... we spent nine hours yesterday trying to calm our colicky infant. Letting go of attachment is easier said than done, but as soon as I accept what is really happening, I see with clarity and can better care for my daughter.
The name Juna was inspired by the character of Arjuna, the spiritual warrior in the Bhagavad Gita. I come back to this text often to remind myself not to cling too tightly to material things, to desires, or to ideas. These are lessons I hope to pass on to my daughter. The Bhagavad Gita tells us that "the person whose mind is always free from attachment, who has subdued the mind and senses, and who is free from desires, attains the supreme perfection of freedom from Karma through renunciation." I am now going through the process of freeing myself from needing to be the "perfect" parent, instead focusing on the child in front of me. I am trying to see her clearly for what she is (fussy, unpredictable, adorable, fascinating...) and not what I assumed she would be. Doing this now will ensure that later on in her life, when she inevitably makes a decision I don't agree with, I will be able to accept and love her for who she is and not who I wanted her to be. Loving unconditionally leaves no room for attachment, and it seems to me that the "perfect" parent sometimes makes mistakes or disappoints, but always chooses to love completely and without judgment.
6.28.2011
The Waiting Game...
Patience has never been a virtue of mine. I knew when I got pregnant that this would be my greatest challenge, as forty weeks is a long time to wait for such a gift! Despite my best efforts, I have had many moments of impatience, wishing the time away not just to get to the end result, but also to move beyond the uncertain or scary parts of pregnancy. First, we were waiting with anticipation for the nausea to finally dissipate in the first trimester, and with trepidation to move beyond the early stages when miscarriages happen. Then, it was waiting with excitement for the 20-week ultrasound to discover the gender, and with anxiety as Baby's development was scrutinized. Now, we are waiting to deliver a real, live baby! It has been nine months of eagerly awaiting the joy of meeting our child, as well as hoping for an uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy and baby.
Through it all, I focused on my practice to help me stay tethered to the Now, because what is patience if not being present and available in this moment? My asana practice reminded me of, and helped me accept with grace, the miracle occurring in my physical body, while my restorative and meditation practice helped me remain focused on my breath. The breath for me is the simplest, most expedient way to reign in my wild and turbulent mind. However, I must admit the last few weeks have seen a decline in these practices as downward facing dog becomes less comfortable, and my dedication to sitting still for meditation has waned. Naturally, because I am not practicing, I have become irritable, fearful and, of course, very impatient.
Jon Kabat-Zinn says "scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it." These words ring true for me, as I think of the many times in the last two weeks I have irrationally reacted with anger and irritation when challenges were presented - at the person who sat next to me and lit a cigarette, at the person driving erratically, at the long line in the grocery store..... things that might have annoyed me slightly before are causing extremely angry reactions now, all because my fascination with being pregnant has been replaced with just wanting to have this baby already! I am suffering from a "I want what I want when and how I want it" phase, and the results are less than positive. A few days ago, I decided something needed to be done, and when I took stock of what was happening both mentally and physically, I saw that in allowing myself to feel impatient, I was missing out on a very special time. These are the last few days that my husband and I will be together as a couple. While we are obviously thrilled to be growing our family, never again will things be as simple as they are now. Why not enjoy these moments?
Luckily, Bradford has time off right now, and we are using this time to be with, and appreciate, each other. This might not be a traditional 'practice', but we are practicing the skills of one-pointed focus and gratitude by cooking together, lounging on the couch, talking, working on the house, going out for dinner, seeing friends.... all things that will become infinitely more complicated when our baby arrives. Each moment now seems precious, irreplaceable, and sacred, not to be rushed through or wished away. I am learning (thank you, Jon Kabat-Zinn) that "through it all, we attempt to bring balance to the present moment, understanding that in patience lies wisdom, knowing that what will come next will be determined in large measure by how we are now." In other words, why would I want time to move more quickly, knowing that when our baby is born, all I will want is for time to stand still? In appreciating each moment now, I am practicing how to be a present and awake parent.
At 38-weeks, Baby is full-term and could come any time. Bradford and I are finding the balance between being prepared and going with the flow... though he shows his impatience in his eagerness to time every practice contraction I have! We are learning to be content, santosa as it is called in yoga. For me, I cultivate this by taking deep breaths whenever I feel the turbulence threatening to take over my peaceful mind, taking my cue from B.K.S. Iyengar. "Contentment in the yogic sense of lasting and stable harmony, is encountered through the practice of pranayama, which conquers in its turn the active (rajasic) nature of the mind and makes possible a practice that is both zealous and sustained," Iyengar tells us. He describes the inhalation as making room for what is good, and the exhalation as the expansion of the soul, which leaves us with quiet, grounded insight. Let this practice take root in me, that I may not be "blown off course" despite complications, challenges and the unexpected problems that come with being a mother. Let me appreciate the wonder and joy in every moment that I have with my daughter.
I have always loved Walt Whitman, and this passage in Leaves of Grass perfectly describes my intention for the next two weeks of this pregnancy:
I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware, and by far the largest to me, and that is myself,
And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,
I can wait.
Through it all, I focused on my practice to help me stay tethered to the Now, because what is patience if not being present and available in this moment? My asana practice reminded me of, and helped me accept with grace, the miracle occurring in my physical body, while my restorative and meditation practice helped me remain focused on my breath. The breath for me is the simplest, most expedient way to reign in my wild and turbulent mind. However, I must admit the last few weeks have seen a decline in these practices as downward facing dog becomes less comfortable, and my dedication to sitting still for meditation has waned. Naturally, because I am not practicing, I have become irritable, fearful and, of course, very impatient.
Jon Kabat-Zinn says "scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it." These words ring true for me, as I think of the many times in the last two weeks I have irrationally reacted with anger and irritation when challenges were presented - at the person who sat next to me and lit a cigarette, at the person driving erratically, at the long line in the grocery store..... things that might have annoyed me slightly before are causing extremely angry reactions now, all because my fascination with being pregnant has been replaced with just wanting to have this baby already! I am suffering from a "I want what I want when and how I want it" phase, and the results are less than positive. A few days ago, I decided something needed to be done, and when I took stock of what was happening both mentally and physically, I saw that in allowing myself to feel impatient, I was missing out on a very special time. These are the last few days that my husband and I will be together as a couple. While we are obviously thrilled to be growing our family, never again will things be as simple as they are now. Why not enjoy these moments?
Luckily, Bradford has time off right now, and we are using this time to be with, and appreciate, each other. This might not be a traditional 'practice', but we are practicing the skills of one-pointed focus and gratitude by cooking together, lounging on the couch, talking, working on the house, going out for dinner, seeing friends.... all things that will become infinitely more complicated when our baby arrives. Each moment now seems precious, irreplaceable, and sacred, not to be rushed through or wished away. I am learning (thank you, Jon Kabat-Zinn) that "through it all, we attempt to bring balance to the present moment, understanding that in patience lies wisdom, knowing that what will come next will be determined in large measure by how we are now." In other words, why would I want time to move more quickly, knowing that when our baby is born, all I will want is for time to stand still? In appreciating each moment now, I am practicing how to be a present and awake parent.
At 38-weeks, Baby is full-term and could come any time. Bradford and I are finding the balance between being prepared and going with the flow... though he shows his impatience in his eagerness to time every practice contraction I have! We are learning to be content, santosa as it is called in yoga. For me, I cultivate this by taking deep breaths whenever I feel the turbulence threatening to take over my peaceful mind, taking my cue from B.K.S. Iyengar. "Contentment in the yogic sense of lasting and stable harmony, is encountered through the practice of pranayama, which conquers in its turn the active (rajasic) nature of the mind and makes possible a practice that is both zealous and sustained," Iyengar tells us. He describes the inhalation as making room for what is good, and the exhalation as the expansion of the soul, which leaves us with quiet, grounded insight. Let this practice take root in me, that I may not be "blown off course" despite complications, challenges and the unexpected problems that come with being a mother. Let me appreciate the wonder and joy in every moment that I have with my daughter.
I have always loved Walt Whitman, and this passage in Leaves of Grass perfectly describes my intention for the next two weeks of this pregnancy:
I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware, and by far the largest to me, and that is myself,
And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness,
I can wait.
6.05.2011
Surviving Pregnancy, Sense of Humor in Tact
 |
| Utthita Parsvakonasana, with baby bump. |
1. Pick the right partner. This may or may not be the person who knocked you up. A few gems my husband has come up with: "Poor you" (in response to any complaint, groan or sigh... immediately, I know I have his sympathy, and I can move on). "Honey, from behind you don't look pregnant at all!" Make sure your partner says this to you at least twice a week, and mean it.
2. Disregard all criticisms regarding your eating/drinking/exercise habits, your choices about what kind of labor/delivery you intend to have and all other well-meaning but unsolicited pieces of advice you receive. Especially if said advice comes from someone who's never been pregnant before or is a supermodel. Only you and your caregiver have a right to make decisions about what is best for your pregnancy.
3. On that note, blame everything on your caregivers' suggestions.... "My doctor is insisting that I nap at least an hour a day," "My doula said ice cream is really good for me," or "My midwife recommended a half glass of wine every now and again to help me sleep" will silence the loudest critic.
4. Decide that your job is to remain relatively stress-free. Let your doctor panic about the unusual test results or unclear ultrasound reading. Let your partner worry about hospital routes and car seats. Let your family figure out amongst themselves who gets to visit the baby first. Your one task is to grow a healthy baby, which is hard to do when you are anxious.
5. Remember: there is no one right way to do anything, including this. Besides abstaining from drugs, smoking and heavy drinking, there are no absolutes on how to have a healthy pregnancy. Eat well, take a walk every now and again, sleep as much as you can and let go of everything else.
Here are some things I have relied on for education, entertainment or comfort...
Books: Birthing From Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
~These books are honest about childbirth without inducing fear.
Beauty:
Laura Mercier Fresh Fig Bubble Bath and Lotion
~Terribly expensive, but the light scent won't irritate sensitive pregnant noses. So luxurious!
Bobbi Brown Luminous Moisturizing Foundation
~Combat skin changes and dryness, and fake a pregnant glow.
L'Occitane Verbena Cooling Deoderant Stick
~Free of alcohol, parabens and aluminum salts, with a light scent and lasts all day.
Clothing:
Gap Maternity Leggings and Support Camis
~No uncomfortable over-the-belly panel or underwires to deal with.
Maxi Dresses and Tunics from Anthropologie
~Forego maternity wear. Go up a size or two, and shop the sale section for the best deals.
Wedges
~Comfortable, supportive and cute. I get most of my shoes from DSW or Zappos.com.
Food:
Marie's Donuts in Sacramento
~On Freeport Ave., seriously the best donuts in the world. My favorite: the chocolate bars
Sacramento Sourdough Bread
~Again, a Sacramento favorite of mine. I'll buy a loaf and carry it home on the plane!
Fresh Fruit
~Right now, I can't get enough watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple and grapes.
Pickles
~Obviously. We like Claussen Kosher Dill Halves (they are in the refrigerated section)
Sparkling Water with Lemon, Lime or Juice
~We bought a SodaStream.... best investment ever! Saves money and is eco-friendly too!
Stores:
A Mother's Haven (Encino, CA)
~Wonderful classes and baby boutique.
Babies 'R' Us
~Simply because they have "expectant mother parking".
The Green Cradle (Sherman Oaks, CA)
~Organic products for mom, baby and nursery. Lovely customer service.
Best wishes for a safe and easy delivery for my fellow pregnant ladies! All moms/almost moms: please feel free to leave other suggestions in the comment section on your favorite pregnancy remedies... I have six weeks to go and would welcome your recommendations!
5.29.2011
Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodhah
It may look like I invited a two year old to play on my computer, but this phrase is actually the second of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. T.K.V. Desikachar's translation is as follows: "Yoga is the ability to direct the mind exclusively toward an object and sustain that direction without any distractions." And you thought you needed flexible muscles to practice yoga! Release your perception that Yoga can only be practiced on a mat, with sweat dripping down your face, contorting into pretzel-like shapes. Yoga can be practiced anywhere, anytime, if we subscribe to Patanjali's definition.
My dad recently underwent a very painful surgery to repair spinal stenosis in his cervical spine. My mother and I kept vigil in the waiting room until Dr. Robbins, a longtime family friend, emerged from the surgery wing to tell us that the operation was successful. An hour later, after my mom spent some time with him in recovery, my dad requested my presence. I nervously went to his side, took his hand and asked how he was feeling. The pain was acute (as you can imagine), but he had asked the nurse not to give him the pain meds until after he was able to visit with my mom and I. He told me then that he had used meditation to handle the pain, thereby terrifying the nurse, who was concerned that his breathing was shallow, his face so calm and his demeanor relaxed. "You're not doing that meditation stuff on me, are you?" she asked.
My dad now faces a long recovery that includes being in a neck brace for six weeks, without being able to turn his head or look down. He will be in a chair much of the day, and have to rely on my saint of a mother for almost everything. He cannot ride in a car for four weeks, or lift anything heavier than two pounds. But even in the hospital, when his legs started to cramp, he got up and did a modified Warrior pose. He used meditation, which he has been practicing for years to help him deal with the chronic pain in his back, to still his restless mind and body. And when his patience runs out, and he gets frustrated with being laid up, it'll be mom's turn to practice some deep breathing and understanding!
Meditation need not be a mystical experience that only the highly evolved can achieve. Meditation is simply sitting with what is, without trying to escape or grasp onto what was or what is to be. Becoming fully present and accepting what is happening now... we all have the ability to do this. Jon Kabat-Zinn explains meditation this way: "...meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It's about feeling the way you feel. It's not about making the mind empty or still, although stillness does deepen in meditation and can be cultivated systematically. Above all, meditation is about letting the mind be as it is and knowing something about how it is in this moment. It's not about getting somewhere else, but about allowing yourself to be where you already are."
I am relieved whenever I read this passage by Kabat-Zinn. Sometimes, I exist in chaos, with my mind working a mile a minute, and I feel far away from the practice of yoga and the serenity of meditation. Isn't it nice to know that simply being aware of your current state, even if it's not perfectly calm, is the practice. It's not about changing who or what you are, it's just about being who you are. As my dad says "it's a practice, not a perfect."
Next time you take a yoga class, use the few minutes before class begins to sit or lie on your mat, close your eyes and just be. The room might be loud with students coming and going, mats being slapped down or friends greeting one another, but you can be quiet and introspective. When you truly arrive in yourself, in body, mind and spirit, you are practicing Patanjali's Yoga, and the healing can begin.
My dad recently underwent a very painful surgery to repair spinal stenosis in his cervical spine. My mother and I kept vigil in the waiting room until Dr. Robbins, a longtime family friend, emerged from the surgery wing to tell us that the operation was successful. An hour later, after my mom spent some time with him in recovery, my dad requested my presence. I nervously went to his side, took his hand and asked how he was feeling. The pain was acute (as you can imagine), but he had asked the nurse not to give him the pain meds until after he was able to visit with my mom and I. He told me then that he had used meditation to handle the pain, thereby terrifying the nurse, who was concerned that his breathing was shallow, his face so calm and his demeanor relaxed. "You're not doing that meditation stuff on me, are you?" she asked.
My dad now faces a long recovery that includes being in a neck brace for six weeks, without being able to turn his head or look down. He will be in a chair much of the day, and have to rely on my saint of a mother for almost everything. He cannot ride in a car for four weeks, or lift anything heavier than two pounds. But even in the hospital, when his legs started to cramp, he got up and did a modified Warrior pose. He used meditation, which he has been practicing for years to help him deal with the chronic pain in his back, to still his restless mind and body. And when his patience runs out, and he gets frustrated with being laid up, it'll be mom's turn to practice some deep breathing and understanding!
Meditation need not be a mystical experience that only the highly evolved can achieve. Meditation is simply sitting with what is, without trying to escape or grasp onto what was or what is to be. Becoming fully present and accepting what is happening now... we all have the ability to do this. Jon Kabat-Zinn explains meditation this way: "...meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It's about feeling the way you feel. It's not about making the mind empty or still, although stillness does deepen in meditation and can be cultivated systematically. Above all, meditation is about letting the mind be as it is and knowing something about how it is in this moment. It's not about getting somewhere else, but about allowing yourself to be where you already are."
I am relieved whenever I read this passage by Kabat-Zinn. Sometimes, I exist in chaos, with my mind working a mile a minute, and I feel far away from the practice of yoga and the serenity of meditation. Isn't it nice to know that simply being aware of your current state, even if it's not perfectly calm, is the practice. It's not about changing who or what you are, it's just about being who you are. As my dad says "it's a practice, not a perfect."
Next time you take a yoga class, use the few minutes before class begins to sit or lie on your mat, close your eyes and just be. The room might be loud with students coming and going, mats being slapped down or friends greeting one another, but you can be quiet and introspective. When you truly arrive in yourself, in body, mind and spirit, you are practicing Patanjali's Yoga, and the healing can begin.
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| Meditating before my wedding last year, as captured unbeknownst to me by my father. |
5.20.2011
ode to a home practice.
I remember my first home practice. After a particularly grueling day in New York City, I couldn’t muster the energy to make it to my usual class, so I decided to roll out my mat at home. It required some creativity on my part to maneuver my furniture in order to carve out a moderate amount of space in the the 190 square foot apartment I called ‘home’. This first home practice liberated me: from any competitive feelings that arose in class, from my need to please the teacher, and allowed me to explore poses in my own way. I wasn’t teaching then, so I made it up as I went along, recalling sequences that I loved from previous classes. Thus began my love-affair with home practice. As an actor, I took this practice ‘on the road’…. my mat traveled all over the country with me, from California to Florida, and everywhere in between, and helped me feel grounded during times of transition and vulnerability.
Upward Facing Dog? As I prepare for the birth of my first baby, home practice has been my saving grace. Spending time on my mat has kept me feeling strong and limber, both in body and mind. No matter what stage of life you are in, a home practice can provide physical relief, mental release and an energetic lift. Allow me to share with you tips for a successful home practice.1. Dedicate a time and space for your yoga practice. Turn off your cell phone, television, computer. Set up your mat and any props you will need, and make your space inviting and calm by lighting a candle or two, opening the window or playing music. Communicate with the people who live with you that you will be unavailable to them for however long you intend to practice. This last bit is easier said than done if you have small children (or pets!) at home. Whenever I unroll my mat, my pup Huck takes this as an invitation to plop himself down. While practicing uttanasana (forward fold), he’ll play with my ponytail, then walk between my limbs inspecting my downward dog (he is the expert, after all). I’ve learned if I put his favorite bed right in front of my mat, he is content to settle in and observe my practice. Sometimes it is impossible to carve out time alone, so invite your child, partner, parent or pet to join you in your practice!2. Integrate distractions into your practice: We cannot control the many variables of life. If the doorbell rings, your child starts crying or something comes up that takes you away from your asana practice, attend to these distractions as part of your meditation practice. Move with intention and awareness. Listen with one-pointed focus. Soothe your baby with the rhythm of your ujjai breath. The practice of yoga is here, now.3. Start at the beginning: With the breath! Sit quietly for a few moments, with a long spine and soft face. Breath deeply. Perhaps this is all you have time for today: that is a perfect practice.4. Surya Namaskar: A simple way to begin the asana practice is with the Sun Salutation. This moving meditation energizes the body, engages many of the major muscles groups, moves the spine into flexion and extension and encourages a mind/body/breath connection. If you are short on time, you can practice Surya Namaskar 1-5 times and receive immediate benefits. For tutorials on how to practice this sequence, pay close attention in your next class or see this link (this is the modified variation of Surya Namaskar, which is similar to what we practice in my class): http://www.yogajournal.com/livemag/lmcontent/5.
5. Practice safely! Practice poses you know well and can do with ease. If you’ve always wanted to try headstand, ask your teacher to guide you through this pose before trying at home. If you know you require a prop to practice an asana safely, modify with what you have available.6. Invest in props. My life changed when I received a bolster as a Christmas gift, thereby enabling me to practice supta baddha konasana at any time. I now have an arsenal of gear at home to support me. When you have props at home, you will be able to practice with greater ease my favorite type of home practice….7. Restorative. Many of us find our way to yoga in order to de-stress and de-compress. Restorative yoga assists in re-educating the body, mind and nervous system on a deeper level, taking you from a stress state (sympathetic response) to a de-stressed state (parasympathetic response). While props add to this experience, there are many restorative poses that require nothing but a wall or floor. My favorites: viparita karani (legs up the wall) or simple savasana (corpse pose). For a fancier restorative practice, read Judith Lasater’s book Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga for Stressful Times. This incredible book details which poses address your particular challenge, and succinctly explains how to use props to support you.8. Not all yoga is physical. Svadhyaya, self-study, is an important component in a well-rounded practice. Reading books about yoga or meditation is a lovely way to complement your physical work, and gently reminds you that asana, while a cornerstone of our practice, is not the only way to experience Yoga. Books I’ve found particularly enlightening include: The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, the Bhagavad Gita, The Heart of Yoga (by TKV Desikachar) and Wherever You Go, There You Are (by Jon Kabat-Zinn) to name a few. So, breathe in the bouquet of a delicious cabernet and settle in with a book for a delightful evening of self-reflection and study.Yoga is not a practice that requires the perfect outfit, the fanciest mat or even a teacher…. The only requisite is to show up; on your mat, in your life, with your loved ones and not-so-loved ones. Take a deep breath and be guided moment by moment by your deepest, most authentic self. This is the practice of yoga, in the studio, in the home or out in the world.Namaste.
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